That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
are you so shy because you have an std?
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize
