I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
