I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Is it penis luge time yet?
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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