i will never coherently bang her
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
i have officially smoked myself stupid. went to wally world to buy soap and toothpaste but got 4 potpies and 2 dessert pies instead. fail.
Randomize
