Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Randomize
