i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Randomize
