I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
i could totally date him if i was just drunk the whole relationship
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
I just met him at a place called the meat farm, Jesus be a shield.
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