im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
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