I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Randomize
