wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
Randomize
