I got chris browned last night
East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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