I just saw a hot homeless man
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize
