she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
