That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
Sacagawea was the original milf.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
people came up our fire escape and one had a cut on his leg and he was beautiful so i told him i was an emt and bandaged it with princess bandaids
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Randomize
