I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Take home message: SPERM IS EVIL AND SHOULD NEVER EVER EVER BE ALLOWED UP ONE'S NOSE.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
