u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We have started to decorate penises.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
I currently don't understand fingers.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
Randomize
