toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Randomize
