I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Dear God. I kissed a man tonight who was born in 1936.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
