Midget sex pt 2 tonight
I smell stomach acid.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
