You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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