he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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