All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
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