how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
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