David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
The homeless guy who goes through my garbage cans just gave me a flyer for an AA group.
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
This is exactly why you shouldn't bang your bartender. Although the awkward free shots are a plus.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
Randomize
