Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Just made a beer run. At 9am. In my pjs. I should not be graduating today
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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