Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
Randomize
