We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Randomize
