I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Randomize
