Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
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