Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
And here i was gonna offer you a complimentary blowjob.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
Randomize
