Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Randomize
