I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Randomize
