I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Ha! Just garden hosed my vag and thought of you.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
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