Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
just come out here and I will go home with you...
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
Randomize
