you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Just chased ups truck with a half wiped ass for you. You're making dinner tonight
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I just kept thinking.. Holy shit. We're fucking in my front yard.
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Randomize
