the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
My autocorrect won't finish pterodactyl for me and I'm feeling personally attacked.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Randomize
