the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
