We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
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