sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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