put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Randomize
