u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
just bought a $25 eighth from a chick who has a kid. i'm helping my community out right?
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Randomize
