So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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