Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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