I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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