i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
