Your dad touched me again.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Well, if worst comes to worst, I have pictures of his penis that I can put on the internet
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
