she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
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