go do what you do best...puke behind churches
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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