i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
