I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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