I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize
